Show Dates

Geeks Who Drink - Pub Quiz
 
Every Wednesday at 7:00pm
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Tractor Brewery - Four Hills
 
Every Thursday at 7:00pm
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Palmer Brewery & Cider House

Thursday, June 14th - 8pm
Red Velvet Comedy Showcase
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Red Velvet Underground Rhino

Saturday, June 16th - 6pm
Dinner Detective
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Marriott Uptown

Saturday, June 22nd - 6pm
Dinner Detective
Placitas, New Mexico
Private Show

Saturday, June 30th - 6pm
Destiny Wrestling Organization
Albuquerque, New Mexico

Cesar Chaves Community Center

Friday, July 6th - 8pm
First Friday's Comedy Contest
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Tractor Brewery - Wells Park

Friday, July 27th - 8pm
Ultimate Comedy Fight Club
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Tilted Kilt Brewery

 

 

Tuesday
Jun192018

How to Change a Baby at Chipotle

 

 

This poor mother couldn't find a changing table for her baby at Chipotle after the little think pooped out their chicken burrito, so I helped her with a little tip for the future. Hope this helps all you parents reading as much as it helped Rachel Jones.


Thursday
Jun072018

Mouth Full of Bees

Some dude wearing the t-shirt of some metal band just walked by. The dude looked like Weird Al. Not like a heavy metal version of Weird Al, just Weird Al wearing the t-shirt of some heavy metal band. He glanced at the bar patio and saw 3 fellas outside the patio fence talking to three fellas inside the patio fence. The symmetry of their bodies echoed the symmetry of their tucked in paisley and pinstriped button-down shirts. Button-down or button-up? I was never sure the difference. Anyway, these fellas were way too hip for Weird Al and his heavy metal t-shirt. He kept walking in search for a place more metal. Some place like Distillery.

A car rolls by and revs its engine, not realizing that nobody cares.

These fellas are dressed really hip, even for Sister. Like their belts match their shoes hip. And I’m not just talking black belt/black shoes, brown belt/brown shoes, I’m talking navy blue belt/navy blue shoes. I don’t quite get it.

A drunk loc’ behind me just grunted some incoherent shit. All the girls around him giggled, even though he sounded like his tongue was just stung by a mouthful of bees and he was having some sort of allergic reaction. Actually, maybe that’s why they were laughing.

One of those hip fellas on the inside of the fence just kissed one of the hip fellas on the outside of the fence. I get it now.

Fake Bob Dillon plays his guitar and sings on the side walk. I check Google to see if I spelled “Bob Dillon” right. Nope. It’s “Dylan.” I thought that looked weird.

Kristen stops by and rushes to show me a meme on her phone because it’s at one percent. I rush to follow that page on Instagram because I’m also at one percent. Our eyes meet, then she goes to talk to some boys standing on the other side of the fence. She leaves her dying phone and pack of American Spirits on the table.

Fake Bob Dylan plays a Beatles song.

One of the hip fellas outside the fence talks about how he moved here from Santa Fe. I wish that car would drive by and rev its engine again right about now.

I haven’t heard from the bee sting guy for a while. Maybe I should check on him. Eh, someone else probably will. Bystander effect.

 Kristen gets her American Spirits and Asian iPhone and goes inside.

Mouth full of bees guy is alive. He just pushed and/or tickled his girl. Some other drunk girl yells at him and tells him he’s drunk. His girl says “I’m texting your goddamn daughter right now.”

Bar back grabs the glass off my table and won’t look me in the eyes so he doesn’t hear me say thank you. Are you supposed to say thank you when they take your glass? Couldn’t hurt I supposed.

Fake Bob Dylan plays “House of the Rising Sun.”

Drunk girl yells at drunk Mouth Full of Bees guy and says “Fucking say sorry. She does care. Tel her right now.” Mouth Full of Bees guy doesn’t tell his girl sorry. Instead, he reaches across her back and pokes her left hip with his ring and index finger. Also, his middle finger. His girl leans into him and puckers her lips. Drunk girl says “Give her a kiss!” Mouth Full of Bees guy gives his girl a kiss.

Fake Bob Dylan sings some song I can’t make out. He sounds like he just made out with Mouth Full of Bees guy.

My phone dies. I’m too sober for this. I’m going home.

Wait! Weird Al in a metal t-shirt is back. Some dude just checked out his ass, assuming that just because they had a perm, they were a female.

That bar back dude just took a glass from the table next to me. The people sitting there told him those glasses weren’t theirs and they were there when they sat down. Bar back dude got frustrated and set the mostly empty glass back on the table. He stormed off, fantasizing about the day he’ll be a bartender.

Sunday
Apr082018

April Comedy Shows

Monday
Mar192018

March Comedy Shows

Wednesday
Feb142018

Grade School Dating VS Tinder 

Dating was so much simpler in second grade. If you saw a girl you liked, you just chased her around with a rope and a metal hook until she fell in love with you. Today men and women have to go through dozens of digital levels of communication before they can even meet face to face.