Show Dates

Geeks Who Drink - Pub Quiz 
Every Wednesday at 7:00pm
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Tractor Brewery - Four Hills
 
Every Thursday at 7:00pm
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Palmer Brewery & Cider House

Thursday, October 25th - 7pm
Duke City Story Slam: YIKES!
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Red Door Brewery Downtown

Saturday, October 27th - 7pm
Stranger Things Carnival & Reptilian Lounge
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Tractor Brewery - Wells Park

Friday, November 2nd - 8pm
First Friday's Comedy Contest
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Tractor Brewery - Wells Park

Saturday, November 3rd - 10pm
Hip Hop & Comedy
Albuquerque, New Mexico
The Guild Cinema

Friday, November 9th - 8pm
Party Hard Wrestling
Mesa, Arizona
The Nile Theater

Friday, November 16th - 10pm
Headliners Comedy (HEADLINING)
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Red Velvet Underground Rhino

Friday, November 17th - 6pm
The Dinner Detective
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Marriott Uptown

Friday, December 7th - 8pm
First Friday's Comedy Contest

10 YEAR ANNIVERSARY SHOW
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Tractor Brewery - Wells Park

Sunday, December 16th - 7pm
Improv Student Showcase
Albuquerque, New Mexico
The Box

 

 

Monday
Oct222018

What to do if you find a syringe at Walmart

I'm a member of a fun group on facebook called Albuquerque Metro Crime Watch. The group doesn't believe in the old saying "snitches get stitches," and they will let you know about all the dangerous happenings in Albuquerque from waking up to a broken car window to panhandlers who are really millionaires.

I came to the conclusion that it's my civic duty to help facebook fight the crime.

Recently a nice young lady named Bondiana brought to the group's attention that she saved the lives of several people by alerting a Walmart manager that their was a needle in the parking lot. Unfortunately, the manager threw the needle in a plain ol' trash can, which I'm pretty sure is a felony, so I decided to alert the group of the proper thing to do if you find a needle in a Walmart parking lot. Hope this helps to save some more lives.

The day after my conversation with Bondiana, fate came back to bite me. I was visiting Costco when I found a syringe, much bigger than the one that Bondiana found, in the parking lot. I knew the responsible thing to do was to share my discovery with the group.

 

My post blew up on the page, and got nearly 300 responses in the short time it was up. Several people asked what the large syringe was used for, and I informed them that I was pretty sure junkies used it to shoot marijuanas into each other’s rectums. But suddenly the Facebook notifications stopped coming. I checked the page, and my post was gone. I was not kicked out of the group, but I realized I was skating on thin ice, and I didn't want to lose my membership in the group, otherwise I wouldn't know where the pan handlers were in Albuquerque. I accepted my defeat, and apologized to all of those I hurt along the way.

 


 

 



 

 

Tuesday
Aug142018

First Friday's Comedy Contest

Albuquerque's longest running stand up comedy contest is back at Tractor Brewery - Wells Park! 10 comedians will duke it out for your vote to decide who's this month's funniest comic in the 505.

Don't miss this FREE comedy extravaganza!


Friday
Aug032018

August Shows!

We've got comedy, we've got dinner theater, we've got pub quiz, and we've got pro wrestling! Come hanging out with me this month!!

 

Tuesday
Jun192018

How to Change a Baby at Chipotle

 

 

This poor mother couldn't find a changing table for her baby at Chipotle after the little think pooped out their chicken burrito, so I helped her with a little tip for the future. Hope this helps all you parents reading as much as it helped Rachel Jones.


Thursday
Jun072018

Mouth Full of Bees

Some dude wearing the t-shirt of some metal band just walked by. The dude looked like Weird Al. Not like a heavy metal version of Weird Al, just Weird Al wearing the t-shirt of some heavy metal band. He glanced at the bar patio and saw 3 fellas outside the patio fence talking to three fellas inside the patio fence. The symmetry of their bodies echoed the symmetry of their tucked in paisley and pinstriped button-down shirts. Button-down or button-up? I was never sure the difference. Anyway, these fellas were way too hip for Weird Al and his heavy metal t-shirt. He kept walking in search for a place more metal. Some place like Distillery.

A car rolls by and revs its engine, not realizing that nobody cares.

These fellas are dressed really hip, even for Sister. Like their belts match their shoes hip. And I’m not just talking black belt/black shoes, brown belt/brown shoes, I’m talking navy blue belt/navy blue shoes. I don’t quite get it.

A drunk loc’ behind me just grunted some incoherent shit. All the girls around him giggled, even though he sounded like his tongue was just stung by a mouthful of bees and he was having some sort of allergic reaction. Actually, maybe that’s why they were laughing.

One of those hip fellas on the inside of the fence just kissed one of the hip fellas on the outside of the fence. I get it now.

Fake Bob Dillon plays his guitar and sings on the side walk. I check Google to see if I spelled “Bob Dillon” right. Nope. It’s “Dylan.” I thought that looked weird.

Kristen stops by and rushes to show me a meme on her phone because it’s at one percent. I rush to follow that page on Instagram because I’m also at one percent. Our eyes meet, then she goes to talk to some boys standing on the other side of the fence. She leaves her dying phone and pack of American Spirits on the table.

Fake Bob Dylan plays a Beatles song.

One of the hip fellas outside the fence talks about how he moved here from Santa Fe. I wish that car would drive by and rev its engine again right about now.

I haven’t heard from the bee sting guy for a while. Maybe I should check on him. Eh, someone else probably will. Bystander effect.

 Kristen gets her American Spirits and Asian iPhone and goes inside.

Mouth full of bees guy is alive. He just pushed and/or tickled his girl. Some other drunk girl yells at him and tells him he’s drunk. His girl says “I’m texting your goddamn daughter right now.”

Bar back grabs the glass off my table and won’t look me in the eyes so he doesn’t hear me say thank you. Are you supposed to say thank you when they take your glass? Couldn’t hurt I supposed.

Fake Bob Dylan plays “House of the Rising Sun.”

Drunk girl yells at drunk Mouth Full of Bees guy and says “Fucking say sorry. She does care. Tel her right now.” Mouth Full of Bees guy doesn’t tell his girl sorry. Instead, he reaches across her back and pokes her left hip with his ring and index finger. Also, his middle finger. His girl leans into him and puckers her lips. Drunk girl says “Give her a kiss!” Mouth Full of Bees guy gives his girl a kiss.

Fake Bob Dylan sings some song I can’t make out. He sounds like he just made out with Mouth Full of Bees guy.

My phone dies. I’m too sober for this. I’m going home.

Wait! Weird Al in a metal t-shirt is back. Some dude just checked out his ass, assuming that just because they had a perm, they were a female.

That bar back dude just took a glass from the table next to me. The people sitting there told him those glasses weren’t theirs and they were there when they sat down. Bar back dude got frustrated and set the mostly empty glass back on the table. He stormed off, fantasizing about the day he’ll be a bartender.