Tweets
Guest Book
Show Dates

Friday, September 8th - 9pm
Headliners Comedy
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Rio Bravo Brewery

Saturday, September 23rd - 6pm
The Dinner Detective
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Albuquerque Marriott Uptown

 

Friday, October 6th - 8pm
First Friday's Comedy Contest
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Tractor Brewery - Four Hills

Saturday, October 7th - 6pm
The Dinner Detective
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Albuquerque Marriott Uptown

Saturday, October 21st - 10pm
Greg's Comedy Basement
Albuquerque, New Mexico
The World Famous Comedy Basement

Saturday, October 28th - 6pm
The Dinner Detective
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Albuquerque Marriott Uptown

Friday, November 3rd - 8pm
First Friday's Comedy Contest
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Tractor Brewery - Wells Park

 

 

 

Tuesday
Feb072017

Elton John Elway

Wednesday
Feb012017

Conspiracy Cordova - Cub Scouts of America: Domestic Terrorists

A majority of Americans have fallen into a deep depression do to what has happened over the past several months. I am obviously referring to Teabagger Barb unfriending me and then blocking me on facebook. After that tragic event, I was convinced that I'd live the rest of my life never having thought provoking discussions about Starbucks and the Jews or how Oprah and Al Sharpton hate gingers...that was, until I met Conspiracy Cordova on facebook.

After being unable to convince Conspiracy Cordova that the Oklahoma City bombers were U.S. Military Veterns and not Jesuits, I realized that this could be the start of a blooming new relationship...

 

Block

Sunday
Jan012017

How to make 2016 the Best Year Ever

 

“Wait Rusty, don’t you mean 2017?” Nope, I mean 2016. Over the past few weeks I’ve heard countless people say something along the lines of “I’m so ready to get 2016 over with.” This phrase caught steam through social media, and quickly became a negative mantra encouraging people to think of all the bad things that have happened in their lives over the past year. What you focus on expands, and every moment you spend dwelling over a negative event is a moment that you force your brain to relive that negative moment. But there’s a plus side to this tricky thing our brains do; when you spend time thinking about the POSTIVE things that have happened to you, your brain relives those emotions too.

            I’m sure no one’s year was perfect. We all have struggles, and ending the year with a hate-fueled reality TV star being elected to run our country was a slap in the face to a lot of Americans. We’re going to have some work to do, but we can’t let a big bad thing erase all the little good things that we have.

            Maybe you thought you’d finally find your soul mate in 2016 and as the timer ticked down your realized that wasn’t going to happen. None of my romantic endeavors this year lasted more than a few weeks, and there were some girls in that mix that I really liked and wanted to work out. My heart still stings thinking about some of these close calls and my ego stings thinking of the rejections, but once again I try to focus on the great times I did have and the freedom and opportunities that being soul-mateless brings. You may find the love of your life tomorrow and never be single again, so enjoy whatever your situation is right now. It might get better, it might get worse, but it will never be exactly the same.

            If you continue to see how big of a list you can compile of all those bad things that happened in 2016, your going to continue to look for the bad things happening to you today that you can add to that list. You’re going to put extra focus on that guy that cut you off in traffic and you’re going to shrug off the person that let you over. But as you compile a list of all your favorite moments of the year, you’ll realize how much joy being grateful for the little things can bring and you’ll find more and more little things to smile for today. A change on the calendar isn’t going to magically make everything all right if you continue to have a negative perspective on life. So let’s kick off 2017 by saying something more like “I had some great things happen in 2016, but 2017 is going to be even better!” 

Thursday
Dec292016

16 Weird Rusty Tweets from 2016

2016 was a weird year for all of us. Here's 16 tweets that sum up my 2016...


Follow me on Twitter @RustyRhymes for another year of weird tweets.

 

Thursday
Nov172016

The Pizza Box Incident of 2016

Sometimes people I work with get passive aggressive...

 

Sometimes I like to agitate the situation more by sending multiple "reply-all" emails...

 

 

But sometimes I accidently send the the same "reply-all" email 6 times...

 

 

Which leads to more passive aggressive emails...

 


Which leads to me sending more "reply-all" emails...