Show Dates

Geeks Who Drink - Pub Quiz 
Every Wednesday at 7:00pm
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Tractor Brewery - Four Hills
Every Thursday at 7:00pm
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Palmer Brewery & Cider House

Thursday, October 25th - 7pm
Duke City Story Slam: YIKES!
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Red Door Brewery Downtown

Saturday, October 27th - 7pm
Stranger Things Carnival & Reptilian Lounge
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Tractor Brewery - Wells Park

Friday, November 2nd - 8pm
First Friday's Comedy Contest
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Tractor Brewery - Wells Park

Saturday, November 3rd - 10pm
Hip Hop & Comedy
Albuquerque, New Mexico
The Guild Cinema

Friday, November 9th - 8pm
Party Hard Wrestling
Mesa, Arizona
The Nile Theater

Friday, November 16th - 10pm
Headliners Comedy (HEADLINING)
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Red Velvet Underground Rhino

Friday, November 17th - 6pm
The Dinner Detective
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Marriott Uptown

Friday, December 7th - 8pm
First Friday's Comedy Contest

Albuquerque, New Mexico
Tractor Brewery - Wells Park

Sunday, December 16th - 7pm
Improv Student Showcase
Albuquerque, New Mexico
The Box




Doctor Out Of Order what the sign should've read.  I sat in the small doctor office's waiting room until about 1:30 for my 11:00 appointment before getting up to take this picture.  People had come and gone after I arrived.  All types of people; old, young, sick, smelly, fat, sorta fat.

I'm generally a fairly patient patient and I don't go to the doctor until it's a last resort.  Well last week I decided to finally go to get my 3-month chronic cough checked out.  I'm lucky enough to have health insurance, but I called over a dozen doctors that told me "We're not accepting new patients at this time."  I finally found a doctor that was accepting new patients, but then realized it was a mental health doctor.  I told them I'd be calling the back shortly.

After hours of looping phone calls, I finally found a Doc burried deep in the south valley that would accept a whimpering whetto like myself....but they couldn't see me until a week and half 11:00am.  I sucked up my pride and road my bike up hill to urgent care to ask about the asthma attack I was, at that point, currently having.  They told me their urgent care is only for kids.  I went outside, shaved, and went back in.  Still a no-go.

I had my girl pick me up and drive me across town to an urgent care office.  I was excited when I walked in and noticed only 1 person waiting.  I filled out the necessary paper work, paid my $40, and proceeded to wait about 2 hours while new patients filed in before me.  I finally made my way to the doctor in what seemed like a successful heist strait out of Ocean's 11.  I explained how I was coughing up my lungs at night, spitting up pieces of bone and broke vintage wine glasses, and annoying Republicans.  The Doctor, after years of medical training, told me to take more Claritin and drink more water.  What a dick.


So today, a week and a half after my initial Urgent Care visit, I showed up for my scheduled 11:00 doctor's appointment, thanks again to a ride from my girlfriend.  We both became more and more irritated as we saw patient after patient being waved in before me.  Finally they called me back...then the nurse weighed me and told me to go back to the waiting room and wait for the doctor.  Guess I didn't weigh enough to be bumped forward.  An hour or so later I calmly stood up, walked over to the sign seen at the top of this blog, and snapped a photo on my iPhone before returning to my seat to watch the bonus features from the Fire House Dog dvd that I had already seen from start to finish in my waiting time.

Not even 20 seconds later the nurse aggressively approach me, no counter or clipboard between us...

"Russell.  Why did you just take a picture of that sign?"  She asks condescendingly, waiting for me to explode about how long I've been waiting and all the people that got bumped up ahead of me.

I answered nonchalantly.  "I'm going to post the photo on my website and write a blog about it."

"Oh.  Because I saw you go over there and take a picture of the sign."  Busted.

"Oh yeah, I'm going to post that picture on my website and write a blog about it."  I answer, cute as can be.

A few short moments later I'm called into the Doctor's office.  Success?  Nope.  The same nurse sets me in the office then exits, the door wide open, a piece of chewed bubble gum staring at me from the trashcan liner outside of the trashcan.

The Doc passes a few times, tending to other patients, each of whom were trying to get painkillers prescribed while I sit in the corner like I'm waiting to see the principal for crashing a talent show.

"....they said I need another proscription for Percocet because they could take the one I faxed.  It has to be mailed."  That lady didn't realize that when you fax something, you still have the original copy.

A young girl with an even younger baby on her breast asks the doc "Is there any physical therapy I could do for my neck pain, or perhaps some medication that would help?"

A homie stumbles into the lobby, demanding to see the doctor again because he wrote the wrong prescription.  "You gave me the ones with Tylenol.  I can't have Tylenol, I need the ones without right away!"

Finally the doctor peeks in.  "Oh I'm sorry, I forgot about you.  Give me 1 second."

More than one second later... "Sorry about that, I forgot you were in hear.  What seams to be the problem."

I explain my cough, trying not to sound weak for going to see a doctor for a cough.  The doctor's friendly and writes me a quick prescription for some antibiotics and some cough syrup.  Then my nurse friend, and not the hot kind you see in Maxim or in the rich people magazines, more the big grumpy kind that hates it when you take pictures of their "Sorry for the wait" and "No Cell Phones" signs with your cell phone, marches in to give me my shot.  She has me take off my pants while she explains that the doctor sees patients with heart conditions, then the elderly, then lazy eye, and finally cough white dudes.  She tells me to put my pants back on.  Turns out I wasn't supposed to take them off in the first place.  (I told you, I don't go to doctors often, just read a lot of Maxim.)

She gives me a shot in the hip, and we proceed to make sweet, passionate love.  I return to the waiting room and ask for a doctor's note from the receptionist so my boss doesn't think I was at home writing a blog or something.  The receptionist offers to make the note for tomorrow so I can take the rest of the day off from work to rest and blog and what not.   As much as I wanted to take the rest of the day off, I told her just to make it for the visit because I have tons of paperwork to finish before tomorrow so I don't get written up.

So that's where I'm at now.  Still at the office, 6 hours later, procrastinating on the paperwork that I'm going to be up all night working on.  And as if that weren't enough, I wasn't even prescribed the good Purple Drank cough syrup.  Instead just some fancy Robotussin.  So instead of a chill, relaxed stated of mind while I work on the gang intervention case notes, I have to try to stay focused while Robotrippin'.

Wish me luck friends.  Wish me luck.


more art...


What's Going On Down There? - A puberty Playdough animation




To all my sexy, saucy Saudi ladies....

Women's Suffrage finally on the way to Ending Women's Suffering in Saudi Arabia

Saudi Arabia came just a little bit closer to democracy last week when King Abdullah (not to be confused with Abdullah The Butcher) granted women the right to vote and run in upcoming municipal elections.  I'd like to think I had a little bit to do with this groundbreaking decision when I rapped to some Saudi Arabian delicates just several months ago...